little Happy Meeting - v. 18

Happiness Defined

I think this bears repeating. Happiness doesn’t happen in one fell swoop, but develops over time by taking small incremental steps; steps I hope you have been taking over the past few months (or plan to if you’re new to this newsletter). Gifted scholars at Harvard Medical School and other equally impressive places will tell you that I’m shooting you straight. Happiness is achievable — and, achieve, we will!

If I asked you to define happiness, what would you say?

Chances are your definition would include joy, the little things, and/or satisfaction with life. It may even include money. If you guessed that happiness is a complex little bugger, you would be right. General happiness can be conceptualized cognitively (as a mental state), affectively (as a feeling or hedonic state — like joy, gratitude, relief, or satisfaction), and holistically (as a philosophy or a way of being).

While happiness scholars don’t completely agree on how to define it, they do know that it’s related to a whole host of positive outcomes and isn’t just pop culture, feel-good fluff. Happiness is associated with:

• better mental and physical health,

• greater relationship satisfaction, and

• increased academic and career success!

Happiness Clarified

Research reveals some other cool tidbits about happiness.

• It is, in part, genetic. Studies reveal that identical twins (who are 100% genetically identical) raised apart are more similar in their well-being than fraternal twins (who share only about 50% of their genetic material) raised together.

• Money can’t buy it. While the all-mighty dollar helps, it only does so up to a point — once this point is achieved it has diminishing returns. I’m sure we’d all be delighted by a windfall, but research shows that we revert to our regular old selves once we adapt to our new financial situation.

• It’s individual. Maybe you’re like me and find that no measure of joy captures how you feel when confronted with a large plate of mashed potatoes. Happy — Clap along if you know what happiness is to you.

• It’s contagious. So spread it everywhere!

Happiness begets Happiness

While happiness (aka subjective well-being) is partially determined by genetics there is still room to grow — but you can’t rest on your laurels.

• Happiness requires practice. It won’t happen in a day, but the challenges found in each volume of this newsletter can help chip away at your hard exterior or reinforce your soft one, and make you genuinely happy!

• You may have to step outside of your comfort zone. One of the best things you can do is step out of that zone — especially, if it’s holding you back.

Caveat: these strategies are not a replacement for therapy – bigger issues need bigger interventions. Also, we can’t expect to be happy all of the time. It’s okay, even good, at times to experience boredom, sadness, anger, or any other conceivable state.

Test your happiness with the Oxford Happiness Scale. Use this as a baseline for future comparisons.*

Each volume of this newsletter highlights a strategy that has been found to boost happiness. Here are a few of my favorites.

1. Form Social Connections. This is one of the biggest predictors of happiness. Social connections can happen randomly when you put yourself out there. You may find yourself chatting it up with a stranger about the absence of eyebrows on the Mona Lisa.

2. Be Curious. Inquiring minds want to know. Are curious people happier? The answer appears to be a resounding yes! See volume 5.

3. Demonstrate Generosity. Doing good makes you feel good, so give — a compliment, a gift, a smile. Go ahead and tell Yolanda she is looking particularly ravishing today. It will be a win-win for you and Yolanda. See volume 2.

4. Get Creative. Sew, sing, whittle, or pan flute. Maybe channel your inner Julia Child and prepare a nice beef bourguignon. Creativity is firmly connected with well-being. See volume 6.

5. Move. Grab a friend and relearn the macarena. It’s hard not to be happy when you’re cutting a rug. See volume 12.

*The Oxford Happiness Scale was given in an earlier volume. If you completed it, compare your new score to your original one. I’m sure you’ll be surprised by the positive change.