little Happy Meeting v. 2

Do good, feel good. Feel good, do good.

Author

Rebecca Malatesta
April 08, 2024

Happy Meeting, Yo:)

To help you make small, incremental changes to improve your happy mind, this week’s newsletter has two goals. One is for you to assess your current state of happiness and well-being and the other is to encourage you to engage in an act of kindness. These acts have been found to positively impact the receiver as well as you, the giver.

How happy are you? First, take this happiness test to see where you stand. If your score is low, don’t fret— keep reading (and doing). If your score is high, do the same. I’ll repost the happiness test in a later newsletter —I’m confident you will see improvement.

Give me a generous helping of generosity, please.

Think about the last time you helped someone. Maybe you gave directions, donated to a charity, or helped a friend move. Do you remember the feeling? Pretty good, eh? Research shows that helping others has an important impact on happiness (and the science bit at the bottom of this letter shows that I’m not pulling your leg). In general,

  • Doing good makes you feel good.

  • Feeling good makes you want to do more good.

  • Both improve mental and physical health.

Give a Duck. pig, sheep, or chicken

A few years ago, I started handing out little ducks to people, randomly (it was inspired by a tiny pig given to me when I was younger). Some (very few) thought I was a bit off my rocker, but most loved it — honestly, you could tell by their expressions (and show of appreciation). It’s interesting to note that age and gender didn’t make a difference. I think men (young and old) appreciated the gesture the most. I even drew a smile from a known curmudgeon. The best part was that it also made me feel good sharing something that made me happy long ago.

Try it! Here is a link to inexpensive little ducks. If this isn’t your thing, an anonymous note of gratitude will do (for more suggestions see below).

Not All Help is Created Equal

Because giving can sometimes make us feel depleted (and we don’t want that) these tips will help you make the right choice for you.

  • Guilt-tripped helping is no bueno. Help because you want to help not because someone made you feel obligated. Guilt-tripped giving won’t give you that warm, happy feeling. It just won’t.

    Time is > money. Giving your time is often more valuable to the receiver AND the giver.

    Give from the heart. The amount of time or money is not what’s important. For both to benefit, you must put your heart into it.

    If you can’t give big, give what you can. Any act of kindness will do. There are points in your life when giving may be difficult — small acts can also impact the giver and the receiver.

“When we give cheerfully and accept gratefully, everyone is blessed.”

Maya Angelou

Happy Task Number 2

Do good, feel good. Feel good, do more good.

10 Ways to be Kind.

  1. Compliment someone — Doesn’t everyone love a good compliment?

  2. Like and share a friend’s post on social media.

  3. Connect someone with the right person. Make an introduction that may change someone’s life.

  4. Show your appreciation. Don’t keep that positive feeling about someone else’s good deed locked up, share your appreciation.

  5. Donate your time to a charity. Bonus: donating time will likely increase your social interaction (which is also tied to happiness).

  6. Put money in someone’s expired or almost expired parking meter.

  7. Bring cookies to the neighbor.

  8. Anonymously pay someone’s tab.

  9. Pick up litter around your block.

  10. Donate your old clothes. You know the old saying — one man’s junk…

To do: 1. Think about and scan the environment for ways to help (and/or use the list for inspiration). 2. Do that thing (do it twice). Reflect: How did it make you feel?

Come back next week for another little happy task.

Generosity increases happiness, which often motivates more generous behavior. Click on the Science Bit and see for yourself.

About the Author

Rebecca Malatesta, PhD, is an Industrial and Organizational Psychologist who teaches psychology at Oakland University, located in Rochester, Michigan. A major source of her happiness is her three adult children (Sam, Isabella, and Joe), her boyfriend (am I too old to call him this?) Matthew, her friends and family, and the queen of her household, Babs.

If you found this newsletter helpful, share it with a friend. You can find the link below.