little Happy Meeting - v. 9

It is the little things, yanno?

As a child, I remember the joy of stomping in the warm puddles after a sudden rain interrupted a steamy afternoon. Few small moments compare. I know the significance of these moments and draw on them when life seems a bit of a mess. At times, though, I’ve lost sight of these small pleasures when I became too busy and future planning and “important” goals got in the way. I’ve noticed their absence on my mental health and made it a point to pay close attention to their presence in my everyday life.

While it’s true that it’s the little things that matter, happiness is not just from experiencing them. Research shows that happiness comes from savoring — which involves noticing and appreciating how these moments make you feel (see Science Bit). It requires you to be aware of the positive feelings and enhance them. These small moments may pass by unnoticed. Fortunately, with practice, we can reap the rewards of savoring and move toward greater happiness.

Little moments when added together create our happy existence. Aside from increasing happiness, learning to find and focus on these moments:

• lessens the unpleasant emotions experienced during stressful events,

• can reduce anxiety and depression,

• can increase self-esteem and optimism,

• is related to increased levels of life satisfaction,

• helps in balancing family and career responsibilities,

• can, If shared and narrated with others, help strengthen bonds.

The best part is that the benefits of finding, focusing, and enhancing these small moments apply to all, despite life circumstances (no money, no problem).

There are some caveats — there are always caveats. You have to

• be free from pressing social responsibilities — you need to be focused.

• have a bit of time (it doesn’t have to be much). You can fit it in while waiting for your child at soccer practice or coffee to brew.

• be able to connect to the present.

Be present in the present

The right small moments create a life worth living. Some of them are listed below. I’m sure you can think of others? Are any of these stored in your memory (with vivid detail — the smell, the touch, the feeling)?

• Coming home to your own bed after some time away.

• Getting an unexpected compliment.

• Being awarded or recognized for good work.

• Taking that first bite of pizza (or other last meal food) after a stretch without eating.

• Getting a “Chill, bro!” text from your out-of-town daughter after wondering why you haven’t heard from her or her brother in 24 hours :)

• Experiencing a change in the weather. Feeling the bright sun after days of rain or watching the first snowfall.

• That moment after reading a great book that transported you to another place.

• The first flower that appears in the spring.

• The laughter of a child (especially if it’s your own).

• A bird nesting right outside your door.

• A steak that is perfectly grilled.

• The moments spent preparing for and anticipating an event. We often think that the event brings the greatest joy, but the real joy comes in preparation for it (a big birthday bash, moving to a new home, a holiday, etc.) and taking it all in after it occurs.

• That first sip of a cold beer after mowing the lawn or working in the garden.

Savoring takes practice— to notice, appreciate, and enhance the moment. The following will help you with this. As with the other challenges, do one or do many. Any practice will enhance your life.

1. Take a snapshot of the small events. Physically or take a mental picture.

2. Share your moments. Include others in your small moments. It creates shared experiences and strengthens bonds.

3. Reflect on acts of kindness. A compliment, a favor, a gift, a forgiveness

4. The good stuff. Write down 2-4 positive events and why they came about (reminisce).

5. Your accomplishments. Think about or journal your accomplishments. Think about how you overcame challenges to get there.

6. Take a walk and notice all of the good things around you. Soak them in.

7. Spend some time imagining tomorrow and the good things that will likely happen. Research shows that visualizing these events can increase positive affect.