- little Happy Meeting
- Posts
- little Happy Meeting - v. 17
little Happy Meeting - v. 17
Consider this. Try that.
Rebecca Malatesta
August 26, 2024
The Possibilities are Endless
I can’t shuck an oyster or dance the jig. I don’t know the first thing about cage fighting and am unfamiliar with the principles of farming. I didn’t grow up in a single-parent household and haven’t struggled (much) to pay my bills. But I know people who can, have, or do — and I’m curious. If I’m receptive to others’ ideas, arguments, and information, I know I’ll learn cool stuff. Being willing to consider others’ perspectives and try new experiences makes us more interesting, compassionate, approachable, and successful. If that’s not enough, open-minded, cognitively complex people:
Are more resistant to manipulation. For example, you won’t be sold snake oil if you understand the motivation of the snake oil salesperson.
Can anticipate how others will behave. Which can come in handy when driving or playing poker.
Become mentally strong. Open-minded individuals tend to score higher on cognitive ability tests. A solid reason to be open-minded, don’t cha think?
Achieve personal growth. Keeping an open mind will enable you to learn new things about the world and the people around you.
Are more likely to discover alternative solutions to problems. There is no shame in borrowing good ideas from your homies.
Feel more optimistic and are happier!
Gaining Perspective
My teaching style has been influenced by both my kids and my students. They’ve taught me the latest slang terms (like rizz — which roughly translates to charisma), and also challenged my expectations and views of their generation. Their input has been so valuable to me in designing my courses to best meet their needs (shhh don’t tell them that they help me help them, they may ask for a cut).
I never really understood the back-in parker (sorry, KJM). It seems less accurate and more likely to result in a ding. It also takes longer, so you’re more likely to hold up traffic. But I’ve learned that backing in makes it easier to make a quick get away and open your door when parking between two cars. I still don’t think I’ll try it, but I understand its appeal and will not longer hold it against those who do:)
I’m not flawed, you’re flawed.
We’re all flawed in our thinking — every last one of us. We have thoughts and opinions that are subject to a variety of biases. Making good judgments involves seeking evidence that is inconsistent with our beliefs and weighing it fairly when it is available. Relevant judgment errors include:
Confirmation Bias. Our beliefs are maintained by selectively exposing ourselves to information and evidence that we’re fairly confident will support our position. For example, if you’re conservative, you may exclusively watch Fox News. Liberal? You may only tune in to CNN. It may be uncomfortable, but seeking alternative perspectives will help you make the best judgments.
Polarization. We are less critical of information that supports our beliefs and find information that’s in line with our views more convincing. Football fan? A call against us is often perceived as unfair. We’re much less critical of those that are in our favor.
People are very open about new things — as long as they are exactly like the old ones.
High time for an open mind
At times, we make a concerted effort to undercut the impact of these biases. We are much more open-minded when we:
Have the time. Imagine a friend is very late for a coffee date. You may initially attribute it to your friend being an unreliable flake. After some consideration, you remember that he’s mostly dependable and that his car has been on the fritz
Are making an important decision. I’m sure it is no surprise that we are more likely to seek others’ opinions when we have to make important decisions (e.g., choosing a grad program or a wedding venue).
Are asked to argue both sides. Research suggests that we have counter-arguments stored in our minds, but we do not draw on them unless asked.
Happy Task Number 17
OPEN soon!
Education’s purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open mind.
Small, incremental changes will improve our mental health. Despite our flaws, happiness can be improved by working to change the way we think. The following are strategies to increase your open-mindedness — remember: you will get better with practice.
Pick an emotional topic and debate or argue a view that is opposite of your own. Consider: the drinking age, standing for the national anthem, or having a sandwich for breakfast.
Think about a time someone wronged you. Now think of three reasons why they may have unintentionally done so.
Take another person’s position or perspective. For example, turning in a late assignment may be the result of working overtime to pay for classes.
Read, read, and read some more. Read about different experiences, perspectives, and struggles (Some of my favorites: The Kite Runner; Angela’s Ashes; The Great Alone, and A Long Way Gone: Memoirs of a Boy Soldier).
Do something that immerses you in another culture - Learn Spanish or attend an Italian, Polish, or other heritage festival.
Other Challenges: Participate in an activity that may not be on your dance card, but can expand your way of thinking. Maybe attend a Star Trek Convention, enroll in a photography class, or visit a history of music museum.
About the Author
Rebecca Malatesta, PhD, is an Industrial and Organizational Psychologist who teaches psychology at Oakland University, located in Rochester, Michigan. She is open to learning from her three children (Sam, Isabella, and Joe), her boyfriend, Matthew, friends and family, students and colleagues and the queen of her household, Babs.