little Happy Meeting - v. 14

Who Else Ya Gonna Be?

Theodor Seuss Geisel (aka Dr. Seuss) is, in my opinion, one of the greatest writers of his time. No joke. His seemingly nonsensical stories are filled with considerable insight and bright white pearls of wisdom (Ever read “Oh the Places You’ll Go”? It’s a popular grad gift for good reason). Today’s newsletter is on authenticity — the importance of being your true authentic self, and Its significance is echoed in my favorite of his quotes.

I think we all know that it’s important for a happy life to be your authentic self, but discovering and acting in line with your true essence is one of the most difficult things to do — I’m just a tad shy of ancient and still working on it. I can confirm, however, that while it is anxiety-producing in some contexts, it’s worth the freedom (and one of the greatest feelings) — and it gets exceedingly easier with practice. I am still surprised by the reactions I get when I work up the courage to show parts of me that I am not confident others will fully accept (like my weird interest in miniature animals). But, people are cooler and more open than I thought possible.

You may need to practice identifying and affirming aspects of yourself (see challenge), but if you channel your inner Stuart Smalley (and maybe repeat his mantra “You are good enough, you are smart enough, and doggone it people like you”) you will not be disappointed. Sure, some people will judge, but who cares? You’re you and that’s good enough!

Like the wise Theodor Geisel suggests if people are offended by the real you, then they aren’t your people, and their opinions shouldn’t matter. So, be you. Do you. Believe in you. I do.

Why?

Embracing your bada$$ self is important for a meaningful existence. It makes every day much more enjoyable and increases your happiness and self-esteem. It also

• enables you to develop stronger relationships. If you love listening to bug noises, brushing your teeth after every meal, or wearing a lime green beret, then do it. Your people will appreciate your authenticity. If you reveal the real you, you will have relationships built on respect and trust.

• allows you to express your unique ideas. It may be tempting to follow the crowd, but your perspective may generate creative, not-yet-imagined, solutions to problems.

• reduces stress and anxiety because it eliminates the pressure of trying to be someone you’re not.

• leads to greater engagement at work and in other domains.

The first thing you need to do to be authentically you is understand who that is. What are your values, emotions, beliefs, strengths, and weaknesses?

Knowing who you are will protect you from taking on the beliefs and values of others, which can rob us of our unique contribution. It’s also really uncomfortable to live as someone you are not. Try some of these. Remember, these challenges are based on empirical research findings — these simple changes can incrementally improve your happiness and well-being.

Note: You may change over time, so occasionally checking in with yourself isn’t a bad idea.

Think about an occasion in which you felt authentic (you were true to yourself and behaved in line with your values, beliefs, thoughts, and, personality). Try to relive this in your mind. Journal or describe it - what happened, how did you feel, who were you with, etc?

Now, consider trying the following.

1. Discover your values? Try this values affirmation exercise.

2. Let go of other’s opinions (unless, of course, they’re positive or in line with who you believe you are)— I know this is easier said than done. But c’mon you know you’re fabulous.

3. Set boundaries. This shows that you value your time, happiness, and well-being. Say no to unreasonable requests, defend yourself against unfair treatment, and ask for what you need or deserve. 

4. Stand up for yourself and maintain your integrity. Express your opinions and stand firm in your values, even when there's potential conflict. It's about self-respect.

5. Avoid comparison. Sometimes we compare ourselves with others and we aren’t even aware we are doing it. When you compare yourself with others, you may notice what you don’t have instead of what you do.

6. Embrace your strengths. You may be a fantastic quilter or mocktail maker. I can’t do either, so share your strengths with others!

7. Accept your personality traits-all of them. The good, the bad, and the ugly.